Tagged: dtla

i just found out it was christmas

because the market was closed

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Snowblowergirl says, “Once upon a time, gollyland used to be a really nice place.”

And she says, “It’s these kids getting into trouble and ruining the city.”

“And JC,” she says. “JC runs this city.”

I say, “Who?”

She says, “Jerome Corp.”

I say, “Jereme Corp.”

She says, “Jerome Corp.”

She says, “They run this city. And they don’t do anything for the city.” And she says, “You know how it says you can’t park in the streets between 3 and 6 in the morning? That used to be for street cleaning, but they haven’t done that in years.”

I say, “That’s unfortunate.”

She says, “In years.”

I say, “That’s very unfortunate.”

She says, “In years.”

I say, “That’s very very unfortunate.”

She says, “But it’s getting better here.”

I say, “In what ways?”

She says, “It’s turning around.”

I say, “How is it turning around?”

She says, “It’s starting to come back.”

I say, “What makes you think that?”

She says, “It’s in the news.”

I say, “What’s in the news?”

She says, “They’re rebuilding golly hi.”

I say, “What’s that?”

She says, “It’s the hi school.”

I say, “Ah.”

She says, “It’ll be ready next year.”

I say, “Great.”

She says, “And I was appreciating not having to deal with kids.” She says, “Once they reopen the school, you’ll see kids everywhere, breaking into property and getting into fisticuffs.”

I say, “That’s not good.”

She says, “There was a donnybrook at the concert a couple months ago here at The Park. You know they throw concerts at The Park. Like do you know the Beatles?”

I say, “Yeah.”

She says, “The Beatles perform every year.”

I say, “Are the Beatles from gollyland?”

She says, “No.”

She says, “And the Spice Girls. Do you know the Spice Girls?”

I say, “Yes.”

She says, “What about Cognitive Descendants?”

I say, “No.”

She says, “Average boy band.”

I say, “Are they from gollyland?”

She says, “No, none of the performers that perform in gollyland are from gollyland.”

I say, “I see.” And I say, “I’ve been around to Los Angeles, Seattle, New York, Boston, Chicago, and other cities, and I have to say gollyland is like no other city.”

She says, “I’ve been in gollyland all my life because I can’t afford to get out of this hellhole.”

“Well,” I say, “I’m sorry to hear that.”

And she says, “I guess it’s a convenient location if you don’t drive. Everything you need is within walking distance.”

“Which works out for the environment,” I say.

“Fuck the environment,” she says, “I’m freezing my fingers off. The other day, I came home with the groceries and I literally took my mittens off like this,” and you could see her hands convulsing. “Anyway, I have to go to my next appointment.”

I say, “How much did you say I owed you?”

She says, “Twelve dollars.”

I produce my check book, and she says, “Can you make sure to put the suffix on it? My mom has the same name, and she might think it’s her check and cash it.”

I hand Snowblowergirl the check, and I say, “Maybe it’ll warm up before Christmas.”

“It won’t,” she says on her way out. “But you get used to it.”

The library is under construction and it’s the end of the world

I wake up in the afternoon and the first thing I do is call Mom.

She answers, and I say, “Did you go to the library?”

She says, “Yes-“

I say, “Did you get my new books?”

She hangs up, and I hear her footsteps. The door opens to Mom, looking down at me on the mattress, and she says, “I tried to put you on speaker, but I ended up hanging up on you.”

She always does that.

I say, “Did you go to the library to pick up my new books?”

And she says yes, but it was undergoing construction. She says, “It looked like they were doing something inside. There were also kids outside waiting for their parents, because it was closed.”

I never received any email notifications about the library being closed, just ones notifying me that my holds have arrived.

I say, “Are you sure they were closed and the kids weren’t waiting for their parents after they had been inside the library?”

Mom says, “Yes, I tried opening the door, but it wouldn’t. And there was a sign that had the date for how long they were closed.”

I say, “When are they closed until?”

She says, “I didn’t read the last date.”

I say, “How could you not read the last date? I have books reserved and I need to know when to pick them up.”

She says, “I just glanced at it and was like, ‘They’re closed.’”

I say, “Well, I’ll have to call them now.”

She says, “Okay.”

She leaves, and I call the library but nobody picks up and there’s no option to leave a message and the regular hours have not been updated with any new information. So then I call the second nearest branch and after the fifteenth or however many rings, they inform me that my default branch is closed until Tuesday but that I won’t be penalized for any holds.

I text Sister this revelation, and she texts back.

Fuckers
U tell them they need to hold it for u
Call them w ur library card m demand that they transfer it to Pio Pico say u fucken got out of work early to pick up books bc u got a vmail notifying u to pick up ur holds
Tell them u wasted gas and time u could have gotten paid for
Call Pio Pico now

I text:

They don’t give a fuck

She texts:

And tell them to change the status of ur books so u can get them at Pio Pico u refuse to wait until Tuesday to find that u owe money plus ur books go away

I text:

There a government entity their attitude is take it or leave it

She texts:

Well that’s the only thing that can be done now and if u don’t wanna do it then ok

I text:

You’ve clearly never dealt with librarians if you think you’re going to get anywhere with that kind of approach

She texts:

I’m trying to give you a solution. Anyway there’s no point in you complaining to me about it what can I do for you I’m all the way in I’ll Hambra

I text:

I can give you their phone number if that’s what you’re asking (213) 368-7647

She texts:

Are you stupid do you think I have time for this
I never asked for the phone number

I text:

I don’t know why you would bring up you’re in Alhambra as if location is an obstacle

At some point, I’ll have to get up from the mattress and start my day.